Called to Serve Him

A few weeks ago in sacrament meeting, we sang the hymn, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" (285) and the second verse resonated with me.

"Ye fearful Saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head."

On March 2, 2014, I was called to be the Relief Society President of our ward.  I certainly felt fearful (I'm too young!  What about my children?  I don't know how to do this!).  As I drove home from the interview (Brett had to stay at the church to fulfill his calling as Executive Secretary), I cried to my Heavenly Father, "I can't do this!"  His answer was immediate: "No, you can't."  I knew that they only way I could fulfill this calling was to rely completely on the Lord and seek His counsel and inspiration. And so this new path began.

There were several "clouds" I dreaded.

How am I going to be the mother my children need and I want to be while I am Relief Society President?  When the Bishop said the words "Relief Society President" I was shocked and repeated, "President?!?!" Then I burst into tears because I felt like he was releasing me from being a mom and calling me to be the RS President.  Emmy was 6, Abby was 3, and Aaron was 1.  They needed me!

What about all the sisters who are older and more experienced than me?  How will they even take me, of all people, seriously as the president? 

I never served a mission, and I don't consider myself a very good member missionary.  What about all the sisters who don't come?  How am I supposed to invite them?  

How am I supposed to be in tune enough with the Spirit to receive all the revelation to know what I'm supposed to do?

But it's been 8 months since that fateful interview with the Bishop, and I have seen just how full of mercy those clouds are.  I have received (and continue to receive!) so many blessings from my Heavenly Father as a result of my calling.

Balancing motherhood with the business of meetings, visits, and food orders is a challenge.  I felt like I was in a rhythm of sorts, and then school got out for the summer and changed everything!  I studied the Conference talks about "Good, Better, Best" so I could better prioritize my life, I wrote separate lists for family/home and RS, but it just wasn't coming.  Something was always getting neglected.  Then I took the kids to Temple Square over Fall Break, and we visited my mom in the Primary Resource Room which is in the basement of the RS Building.  It is actually shares one huge room with decorated dividers with the Young Women and Relief Society Resource Rooms.  As we looked around, I saw segments of a talk by Sister Julie Beck on the wall in the RS area.  She talked about dividing our lives into Essential, Necessary, and Nice to Do and then gave specific examples for each category.  That's what I needed!  I took pictures of each area and resolved to use this format for my to do list.  It has really helped me to stay focused on what really matters each day and to let other things wait for another day or fall out of my life.  I decided to stop spending time of Facebook and looking at others' blogs in the evenings and move my bedtime up so I wouldn't need a nap in the afternoons.  Instead of my 20 minute power nap while Abby watches a show, I now index (something I always felt guilty about doing but just felt like I couldn't fit one more thing into my life).  I'm surprised at how little I've missed that "me time" browsing the internet.  It was not essential or necessary, and certainly had no bearing on my eternal salvation! :)  Being busier has forced me to spend my time on only the most important activities, and that has led me closer to my Heavenly Father.

Another blessing of my busy schedule is that it has forced the children to spend more time with Brett and allow him to do things for them.  Their relationships have deepened.  It's been an interesting turn of events to have me be the one running off to meetings because it's been Brett who's been super busy for the last 6 years.  Thankfully, Brett has been very supportive.  It has definitely made me realize all the times I was not supportive of him (like when I made him feel bad for having to leave again.)

I was so nervous about my age, and I felt entirely "too little" for what I thought of as an "old lady" calling.  :)  But I have seen how our younger presidency has helped younger sisters feel more comfortable coming to church and RS activities.  We're not quite as intimidating. :)  And I have learned so much from the older sisters in my ward.  A couple of them especially have mentored me and become good friends.

I was scared too death to do presidency visits our first week.  We wanted to meet some of the sisters who didn't come, and it made me very nervous to knock on a door not knowing what their reaction would be to people from church.  But I was the president so I certainly couldn't back down!  Eight months later, I still get a little nervous to knock an unknown door, but I have learned that we are all just regular people doing our best, and everyone I've talked to has been really nice - even if they ask us not to come back again.  And I have learned a lot about being bold like the Savior while still being loving.

After my initial call, I spent the next week praying, researching personal revelation (it was one of the scary clouds, remember?), and visiting the temple.  The Lord led me to choose amazing counselors, both of whom I hardly knew.  During the last eight months it has become very apparent that the sisters in our ward needed these two counselors almost as much as I have. :)  I'm still working on being better in tune.  I know that Heavenly Father is raining down revelation; it's me being ready to recognize and receive it! 

These past 8 months have been challenging but I wouldn't trade them!  I am so very grateful for my Heavenly Father's patience and allowing me this opportunity for growth.  I am not the same person I was a year ago, and I am thankful for the trials that have led me down the path I'm on now.